25 Things I’ve Learned by 25
David Shrigley, Life is Fantastic, 2016
1. Even though it may seem perfect on paper, it doesn’t mean it’s perfect for you.
I’ve dated guys who are perfect on paper, tick all my boxes and are objectively really, really great guys that I was lucky to cross paths with. But, it just wasn’t it. The job or city that you expect to be perfect - and it’s not. You have to trust life that it gives you what you need, and not always what you want. It always works out.
2. The friends that make you feel like sunshine and give you energy after you spent time together, are the ones you want to focus on.
In high school, university, post-university, sometimes I would think “oh I want to be friends with these cool people”, and after hanging out with them a few times, I felt …icky. They could be wonderful people but either I wasn’t fully-welcomed or I realized ehhh I don’t feel good with them. That’s when you say thank you, not meant to be, and you move on. You do not have to, nor are you able to, fit in with everyone. Those friends that feel like sunshine, that get you and you get them? Those are the ones that you should spend more time with. They bring out the best in you and you in them. You can show your truest colours. You’ll never find your Perfect Friends any more than you’ll find your Perfect Person - you’ll only find what’s perfect for you.
3. Rewiring your brain does work.
Before you spend hours talking in circles with your therapist and feeling shittier after each session, try rewiring your brain yourself. No one is going to do it for you, and don’t forget someone you pay is incentivized to prolong and create a dependency on your sessions for their income. Start attacking your distorted thoughts at every angle - write out logical arguments against those thoughts (multiple times a day if you need to), repeat affirmations outloud, listen to books/podcasts, speak with loved ones, give your body the basics of sleep and good nutrition, go on medication if you need to. Commit to rewiring your thoughts and the progress you see will be exponential. If you don’t clean your house regularly, it will get dustier - always tidy your mind.
4. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is slow down.
You do not have to run 100 miles an hour forever. Especially for women (big believer in feminine and masculine energies), rest is really, really important. We are not meant to do-do-do all the time. We can do - and when we do, do we everrrr - but women also need to just be. Let our bodies rest, let our minds rest, let ourselves just be. No, I don’t need another Pilates class right now; I need to lie down and watch Vampire Diaries. Working out more, pushing harder does not always solve your problems. Successful people take breaks when they need to.
David Shrigley, My Rampage is Over, 2018
5. HAVING FUN IS IMPORTANT!!!
When you’re 60, you can’t have the same fun as when you’re 20 - don’t delay your gratification tooooo long. Have fun along the way to wherever you’re going. Be curious, be open-minded. Don’t expect to have the same levels of money, time and energy throughout your lifetime. Laugh!! Be silly!! Hug your loved ones with the tightest squeeze, give them a kiss on the cheek. Don’t be so hard on yourself all the time!!! Loosen up!!!
6. Life is beautiful in its peaks and valleys.
“Too much sunshine makes a desert”. The lows make you appreciate the highs. The lows let you empathize with what others are going through.
7. Sometimes those that sprint up the mountain fastest, find that it isn't for them sooner. You are allowed to climb other mountains.
See my Climbing Mountains thoughts. True champions succeed in multiple areas.
8. Choose your hard.
“Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick wisely.” ― The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*
9. If you’re lucky enough to have those that love you deeply and won’t give up on you, hold them closely.
Money, power, pleasure - nothing will replace unconditional love. The love of family, your partner, your truest friends. Love them back and accept them for who they are.
10. Don’t abuse your body and mind unnecessarily - you’ll go through enough sh*t.
I don’t drink to excess, smoke, do drugs, eat badly because I know I’ll go through enough in my lifetime. Not damaging my lungs with a vape is an act of long-term self-care. I looove a glass of wine with friends and I looove dessert. But, everything in moderation. I try to keep my thoughts harmless; your thoughts become your reality. I keep my body strong with exercise without overuse. I want to beat my great-grandma’s record of 103 years.
11. “Any home can be beautiful with three elements: big good art, fresh flowers, and nice music” - my best friend’s mum.
12. Respect your body’s limitations.
If I drink a few glasses of alcohol, I get really, really sad the next day (despite a very fun night). If I eat too many M&Ms, I get sugar rashes. If I don’t get enough sleep or am too hungry, my mum will text my boyfriend to be careful. I’m learning to not fight these limits, but accept their protections.
13. When you feel anxious or down, Plan A: take action. Plan B: do something for someone else.
I can get paralyzed by my end goals that can feel too big and faraway. When I take a tiiiiny step towards it and do something I’ve put off, I feel so much better. If it’s an insecurity-feeling anxiety, I try to shift my focus from my own problems and put that energy into others. My problems immediately seem smaller. Even sending a nice “thinking of you” text to a friend.
14. If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.
15. Seek to make an impact not to impress.
“I had a moment the other day that really changed my perspective on how I view my physical appearance. I was thinking: no one has ever impacted me by being beautiful or having a perfect body. It might get my initial attention or even be inspiring, but it’s never been the reason I remembered them.” – Becca Tilley, from Olivia Rink
16. Forgive your past, release the future and feel in the present.
The moment you forgive your past and release fears of your future, you clear space for the present and an energetic shift occurs. You say yes to joy, abundance, wellness, romance and anything else you desire.
17. No one person will be everything for you.
Don’t expect your partner to fulfill all your needs - you have girlfriends, a mum, sisters for that. This applies to your friends too - the one you workout with all the time may not be the best to party all night with; the one you love going for drinks with may not be the best to divulge your deepest insecurities to. Don’t expect the world of everyone.
18. Stop giving difficult situations power and momentum. Don’t choose suffering.
If in the midst of negativity you are able to realize “at this moment I am creating suffering for myself”, it will be enough to raise you above your reactions. It can open up infinite, unexpected possibilities which come to you when there is awareness. Hard situations can offer you clarity about what you don’t want, thereby helping you discover what you do want.
David Shrigley, When Life Gives You A Lemon, 2021
19. Listen to your heart, not just your head.❤️
Similar to #1, what our mind logically thinks is great on paper for us or people’s best advice is sometimes not aligned with what our heart truly wants. Sometimes we forget that a great way to live is for our hearts to tell us what to do, and our minds to figure out how. Otherwise your Very Important Brain can end up walking a mile away from your heart. That causes misalignment. It will show up in your body if you don’t listen to your heart soon enough.
20. Don’t let your worth be heightened or lowered by external factors.
Be alike in success and defeat. Don’t let the level of your self-worth be influenced by perceived (!!!) positive or negative events - what people say to you, what your job title is, what clothing brand you’re wearing, the number in your bank account. Let your self-worth remain constant and independent no matter how good or bad it gets.
21. Find joy in the small things; they are the big things.
22. “Shoot for the moon and you’ll land among the stars.”
Dream as big as you possible can and go for it - even if you won’t achieve that goal, you’ll end up somewhere really cool along the way. Usually somewhere even better than where you were aiming for. We’re on a floating rock in space, one of billions of people on this planet. No one cares what you do or how you do it, so do it! Who cares? WHO! CARES! Why not!!! Who says it’s not possible!!! Why not you!!!
23. It’s OK to fail and be a quitter.
“I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt.” ― Blythe Baird
24. Art helps you see everything differently.
I can’t fit everything I love about art in a paragraph, so I’ll add some quotes I like about art.
“Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art” - Andy Warhol
“Klimt once said, ‘Art is a line around your thoughts’. I would add to that art is a way of bringing people together. I think contemporary art is like a love story. It starts with passion.” - Iwan Wirth
25. If you want to make the world a better place, start with yourself.
Take this all with a grain of salt. :)
Bonus #26 for Nicole: Don’t forget to look up!
Katya